Try not to play the same game you’ve always played: the swooning beauty in love with the butch guy. Try not to make up stories about who he is or who you are or who you could become together. Because that twenty-year gap and his job downtown are already working against any kind of a future, really.
Try not to think of the future. When are you happiest anyway? Is it when you look at the graph on your investments page and watch the line travel up and then down again? Is it when you think about ordering a turkey for Thanksgiving or imagine boarding the plane next week? No, it’s only when you are in the moment, when you look up at the floating clouds of fog, or sing along with Kylie’s new song, the gears on the car shifting with the beat, the wheels strong and smooth beneath you.
Try to be present today, when he is home with what you hope isn’t Covid, when he calls you gorgeous, when he sends an emoji of a little yellow face kissing a heart in your direction. Can you allow yourself to dream about feeling his skin again without worrying about what he wants, what fantasy you should try to be to deserve love and affection? Can you state what you want instead? Skin against skin, his a French vanilla, his lips like a split plum. Maybe you can find your way back to desire without thinking about traveling the world together or having romantic dinners downtown. Maybe you can do again what you have always been so good at doing: creating an island in the middle of all this chaos for the two of you. Maybe you can stop berating your silver hair or your softening neck and embody the body he sees, the one you still feel inside these older bones, these sore tendons, this stiff back. You don’t have to be Snow white singing into the well anymore; your handsome prince isn’t coming to find you. But maybe you can meet yourself and your lover somewhere in the middle of middle age, maybe you can be coconut cream with flecks of raspberry, maybe you can explore this delicious treat the way you explore a perfect piece of cake. Not chocolate this time, but French vanilla. Something sweeter than you’re used to.
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The writing prompt this time was the ice cream menu below, and a report from The Guardian that research shows ice cream makes you happy. You can also see the prompt from an earlier post, which is referenced in the title, here.
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· PEANUT BUTTER SUPREME—Three dips of peanut butter fudge ice cream covered with peanut butter topping, hot fudge, Reese’s Pieces, whipped cream and a cherry.
· MELTDOWN—Three dips of our creamy vanilla topped with hot fudge & warm caramel over a split banana
· DIETER’S REVENGE—Three dips of our creamy vanilla ice cream topped with hot fudge, chocolate chips, crushed Oreos, whipped cream and a cherry.
· MINT CHOCOLATE SUNDAE—For a cool treat, three dips of old-fashioned mint chocolate chip ice cream covered with hot fudge, crushed Oreo cookies, whipped cream and a cherry.
· GORILLA’S TREAT—Three dips of fresh banana ice cream over a split banana covered with chocolate sauce, whipped cream and a cherry.
· SOUTHERN TREAT—Three dips of our famous butter pecan ice cream (made the old-fashioned way) covered with butterscotch topping, chopped almonds, whipped cream and a cherry.
· NUTTY BUDDY—Three dips of our famous peanut butter fudge ice cream covered with hot fudge, peanuts, whipped cream and a cherry.
· CMP—Three dips of our creamy vanilla ice cream covered with chocolate syrup, marshmallow topping, peanuts, whipped cream and a cherry.
· TRIPLE CHOCOLATE SUNDAE—Three dips of rich chocolate ice cream (our own recipe) topped with hot fudge, chocolate chips, chocolate jimmies, whipped cream and a cherry.
· MOCHA MADNESS—Three dips of our homemade coffee ice cream topped with chocolate sauce, chocolate jimmies, whipped cream and a cherry.
· BANANA SPLIT —Vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream over a split banana, topped with pineapple, chocolate sauce, strawberry sauce, whipped cream and a cherry.
: Still Wishing: Part Two
The Catalyst 